i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
