I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
