I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
