so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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