Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
