Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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