do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
