yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
