Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
