Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
