She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
