No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
