I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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