Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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