also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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