i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I look better un-naked...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
