put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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