i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize