Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
