You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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