I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
