I hope mine doesn't look like that
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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