Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
