So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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