so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You can't special order awesome
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
