she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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