I wish I could teleport
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
