Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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