What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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