You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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