She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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