You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
