dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
