Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
