I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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