My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we're making bets on your personal life
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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