He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
