Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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