is your mom at the bar?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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