I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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