i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
