Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
The air taste purple.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
