Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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