I'm going to jail i love you
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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