so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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