Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
