Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
