I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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