I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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