Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i out mim tonsoeep
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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