no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
