She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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