White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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