all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
