why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
