dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
