And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
