You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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