I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
