yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
