You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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