you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
