I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
