I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
