It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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